Giving "thanks" is sometimes easy: when you get something you really like or need. But there are time when you, I, are given something very unsuspecting, resulting in a painful experience which tests the very foundation of your belief in life and death:
An incident occurred to me 2 years ago on a warm DC,"Indian summer" November, very similar to the morning I am experiencing today.
My brother Eric had decided he could not take care of another of his dogs: an Akita named Zeus(why not"fluffy"). Appropriately named, this "hound from hell", this Cerberus, had a fear resulting in anger for anyone he did not know: guess whom he did not know living at our house...
Yup, he did not like me at all; he had a similar disposition to another Akita who had been left at my mom's house whom, I grew to really love, and whom I would take care of from 1995 until his death 1 day before my birthday in 2003: Kojo. They both feared those whom they did not know; each was protective of their personal space and would flinch and especially in the case of Zeus snap and bite if startled: reminded me of an abused child...
These two dogs were so unlike the dogs and cats we grew up with as children whom were like our brothers and sisters
So being around Zeus when he was brought to the house in 2004 with my brother and his wife and child during Christmas was very unsettling; I learned this lesson because every time he saw me as he sat on the porch he "smiled" with his fangs; no joke, he felt threatened by the presence of anyone, even at someone else's house; I was not about to get close to this dog, besides they lived in Boston and I would not have to associate with him except through tales of his through family who did...
In 2005 he came to live at the house because my brother was leaving med school and his residency and his marriages' separation had the family split and guess who got the dog?
Yup...
Similar to Kojo I was again, given custody of a very large, alienated and hostile animal. And like Kojo, Zeus was going to be caged and if lucky chained in the yard. Having been locked up in a cage before I cannot stand to see anything denied there freedom. So I went about freeing him(as done to Kojo) from his dungeon and then from the chain, spending hours keeping watch to guard his actions as he "patrolled" the yard and barking at anyone who got near his families property. His insecurity and fear was only highlighted by his deep attachment to the bowl which was used for years by Kojo: he would quickly run onto the porch or grab it anytime someone would get remotely close to his "security blanket": sad yet endearing...
Like Kojo, I would take Zeus to Ft. Dupont park which is a federal park here in the city which was one of the forts which bordered the city specifically created to repel Confederate forces during the War between the States, the so called Civil War...
It was here that I had bonded with Ko so I would just recreate the same experiment with Zeus hoping for similar results. Though, unfortunately after a night time attack from Zeus one month after first taking him there in September, I was to discover that his fear and anger was much deeper and to my horror much harsher than anything I had ever experienced.
That night in October left me with bites on my back, hand, and buttocks: they took weeks to heal, though I did not need any stitches this taught me that he is a dog who can be triggered with a gentle touch of a hand to his back side: this dog was full of fear and anger and he did not care if I had facilitated his release from the cage and the leash: he did not know my smell enough and he was to make me pay for invading his "space." I got him to clam down but it took a late night chase in the park and we returned to the house. After checking my wounds and looked out onto the porch where he slept, closely guarding his doggie bowl, his security "blanket": poor Zeus...
Well, weeks passed, and it was a late November morning; a morning in which I had gotten up, made us breakfast and had even gone out to rake the leaves which according to the cities leaf collection guide, had to be out by Monday, for the start of the annual pick up week. I looked over to the park and thought: a great day for a run with Zeus, he had a look about him as he roamed the yard as I raked that he wanted to go for a "walk". A magical word every dog whom has lived at our house knew.
I knew he would be home in the house all day as I had errands to run, a work out at my gym and dinner with an old friend; these would take me away from him for at least 6 hours with him alone inside the house: "ok, Zeus, lets go." As I dropped the rake and grabbed his extended leash(3 feet) he realizing what was to happened ran towards the back gate. He anxious agitation was expressed in every gyration of his body especially with the wagging of his tightly wound tail. He was siked!
Ok, I though, as I snapped the hook onto his metallic collar, which had caused him problems in the past because my mom thought it was too tight and maybe dug into his neck.
So off we went, with me trailing as he ran hurriedly across the 4 lane avenue which runs north- south through the 2 eastern wards of Capital City. I run regularly so the jaunt through the park is great except for the beginning, as the dogs burst, has in the past caught me off guard so I must be ready to sprint though carefully watch the terrain, especially in the dark, because once you get across the street and into the park it slopes downward toward an access road which is used by park service and police towards there compound: 1/3 of a mile up and in the park...
After he and I make our way through the first part of a normally 25 minute jaunt, we turn towards the amphitheatre which borders a creek to the north and a hill side to the south: a valley of sorts that a path has been lain through, one which I love to take my dogs on because especially at night, it is firm footed and reliable. As I had done with ko years earlier I would test my speed and the dog's companionship by letting go and catching him if he got to far in front; usually by stepping on the elongated cord bringing him back in case danger was in sight. Well he was in that danger zone as he ran from the flat grassy area and towards the bend in the path that would either take him deeper into the park or out near the park compound, either way a problem for us both...especially for me. So I stepped down on his long leash as I had done a few days earlier when we had run together, though except this time his yelp(pain) turned into my scream because he turned and attacked: bite on wrist and side of back: I scream !
I retreat towards a tightly wound grove of bushes, corners me, and him with his mouth open; eyes gazing at me . With memories of the attack 6 weeks ago I was just concerned with trying to get him calm and then back home. I wait for a minute or so and then tried to get him to run with his leash in my hand out of the park via the path; he has other ideas as he more violently attacks me and this time... I am in real pain, with deep wounds in left wrist and bites on right hand and wrist and buttocks again: damn!
I run away after pulling and punching myself free; 15 feet or so into the woods I observe my wounds and after watching the blood drip from my deep, deep marks, I realize that I will be recovering for at least 6 months from this attack(still feel 'tweak' while I twist it during this post) and as I watched him stand down in the grassy flatland of the amphitheatre that I had to recapture him because I had brought him over and it was my duty to bring this animal home or die trying because on a day Ike today a child could die...
So I pulled down my sweatshirt sleeves, and slowly walked the 100 feet for so towards Zeus, who has begun to walk slowly towards the entrance where the path diverts into the amphitheatre. As I cautiously make my way, though-prepared to retaliate this time-I would reach down and bit by bit capture his leash; we walked the 1/3 of a mile to the edge of the park, we watch Minnesota avenue which is now teaming with mid day traffic. I could see our yard as we waited for the street to clear. As I looked down at Zeus I could see and feel the blood and pain; my sweatshirt protected my dignity none realized the horror I had experienced. Zeus stood at attention and as I took a step he extended himself to sprint across the street. Seeing a truck approaching at the bottom of this hill, I paused and so did he; at that moment I realized he was so innocent to what lain in our path. I thought for a moment to take a step and let him have that truck:THAT FUCKING DOG HAD NO SYMPATHY FOR ME!!!
But my inner nature said "no"...but boy did I really want to get revenge especially during the next 3 weeks after the stitches and the PAIN!
We crossed the street and I left him on the porch to begin another chapter in what turned out to be a long day with a missed ambulance and a long wait at another emergency room: shesh!
As I write this and remember the good run and warm relations he and I now shared last night(saw a deer) 2 years later I give "Thanks" for him and even the experience . Because I was reminded that even when a relationship is troubled and pain develops their is room for salvation if forgiveness leads the way. In fact, considering how those whom should have been responsible for his behaviour and introduction into this new home treated me after this incident, I am more grateful for my actions because as an animal in a humans world he only acted on his survival instinct; as a human, using the "phoenix effect" based on compassion I was able to create a new relationship; a relationship that today is stronger and one of the most loving in my life: Happy Thanksgiving Zeus!
Happy Thanksgiving to you all!
Peace and love...
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