The man who saw tomorrow part 1

1992, was the first year that I realized i did know what I was doing as an activist but I had much to discover about the the nature of people and how trusting my self and what I "see" would determine the next 15 years of my life...

Here is my story told from the streets of San Francisco to today...

1992, jeez I had such a tumultuous 91 that I was finally able to settle down and grow in one solid place. after returning to San Francisco in August from New York City, I had found a home as a member of ACTUP golden Gate. Joining ACTUP while living in New York(SANE/FREEZE) I had found purpose as a gay man and as an activist; both were in need of my as millions of people, many gay men, were infected and given a death sentence called AIDS. Golden Gate was the more respected of the splintered groups, with ACTSF mainly a home of political Utopians who I had a more political liking but their status as HIV- lefties made any real progress of passing an agenda of change based on co-operation and confrontation with the system a more likely setting for both personal and professional growth. We got things done because the many HIV+ members HAD viewed any progress as victory because they lived with a death sentence everyday because of their status. This political desperation still lives with me today; I have a hard time with political activist today because of it; even antiwar vets are too comfortable with their fate, I thought they would be as impatient; ironically I felt that when they arrived here to DC I could find camaraderie with them because I falsely thought they would share the same "urgency", but that I will leave for another time...
Well, ACTUP both in New York and SF were a blast: their use of street theater and in your face tactics used AFTER-- sometimes months-- of research and negotiations taught me much about a system I did not trust and the will of people to organize to save life using "all means" to achieve some sense of "victory".
So, I had decided to follow my path and join ACTUP in New York where I was living for a month and working as Canvass Field Director for SANE/Freeze(largest peace group in America) ; I was also coming out as a Gay man and also moving in a more radical political direction. Consequently I also knew that my future in both would be made in San Francisco, where I had left many things unfinished after I re-joined Sane and moved to NYC; I had to return to SF but first I had a month or so to practice agitprop with the mother ship of ACTUP NY and live in Manhattan...

Divorcing from SANE was easier than I thought it would be; canvas offices are like families but my small cadre of friends knew I was not hapy with life inside of Sane; they accepted my release from our office near Columbia University and my move from Brooklyn and into an apartment with the architect I had met while being active in ACTUP.
Imagine, I had been going to meetings after working during the day with Sane and a few weeks later I was living as a gay man openly with another man. Change was happening so fast; I did not fear because my heart said: go.
Though this situation was transitional because as I stated earlier I knew my heart and soul still lived in San Francisco, and only a return to that city-- which I had left 4 months earlier-- would I feel "complete." I had made the metamorphosis; I had gone from unsure to sure of my status as a man and most of all in who I was to be and where my life was to be lived; and all on my terms too. For the first time in my life, I knew "where I was going."

Or so I thought...