continue

I sat up...

"Jeez, how long have I been out", I thought as I began to pry my eyes open; the room was still dimly lit except for the electric Buddha glowing from above me. I crawled over to turn on the Television; the channel was randomly set but it too was preoccupied with the state of the world: Damn that car is on fire on the Bay Bridge, I yelled as the television helicopter circled the flaming debris scattered along the bridge. It was possible to see from the "shot" a scattering of people whom had been there live.
"Oh, shit..oh, shit what is happening" I said as I began to think of the dire circumstances the city has now come under. And what about my friends?

I sat there for 15-20 minutes, transfixed at the chaos in the world at that time. The entire world as I knew it was a "war" and I had t go back out and see if I was needed, after the part I had played. I sat there and began to put on my shoes and then took a piss. and worriedly set out again at about 5 of 1 am. I spent the next 75 minutes circling the area around the bridge; so many cops keeping people away from the vital areas to the ruling class: shopping, infrastructure(bridges, main roads) and also food(which was extremely prominent 15 months later during the mayday/Rodney King riots). I did not try to press any advantage, to get a closer view, based on my personal apprehension due to the earlier encounters. I did not want to be held by the pigs, especially under these conditions. I did widen my arc in returning to Leavenworth and Geary by heading up market towards Duboce Park specifically Walter St. and 14Th(I have an attachment to that number ) though careful to avoid the main drag.

I stopped by my first home in the city and discovered no sign of life. I felt it was time to return to Apartment 100 and see if my peeps had returned...
As I walked the dark and nearly deserted streets that early morning, I thought back to how it all started: a large gathering of masses with me standing at the feet of Angela Davis whose rousing speech combined with her god like persona-those dreads- propelled the youthful crowd into the night and the battles with the forces of "imperialism." "What a night...what a night", I thought as I crossed Van Ness Ave., and headed down Geary towards Leavenworth. Like so many times before the street were still busy with the traffic of human flesh: the boys of Polk then the trans of Hyde and lastly my corner and the girls with no names. A friendly face was leaving the building as I approached, happily not having to find a key to get inside; I march to the door besides the elevator and jump anxiously down the flight of stairs and as I walk the distance to the door and thankfully I can hear that life had made its return while I had been gone.

I open the door and was glad to see so many familiar faces...

Looking backwards, to see forward

I was so glad to see 1992...
See, 1991 was such a year of turmoil: survived the "wars" at home and abroad; went from San Francisco to NYC and back in one summer(finding ACT UP in both cities along the way), and lastly staking my name and my reputation on a prediction that was a long shot at best: George Bush was going to lose the 1992 election. I said this right after the "Mother of all Battles" had been "won" by the international community.

San Francisco is like no other city I have ever lived, in the United States; people try to live most accordingly to the principles they ascribe. The level of personal responsibility and community spirit makes the city tolerant, and consistently contentious. Therefore people know where they stand and are ready to defend the choices made by neighbor and most importantly, by self...
Though when it comes to the "State", especially principalities(Sacramento) far away (DC), the lack of support and toleration diminishes according to their proximity to the city. The degree of enmity is only exacerbated during a time of international "conflict"; and unlike most places we San Franciscans do not sit quietly when roused. When the bombs dropped on Baghdad, we "dropped" our's too.
Mass gatherings in the city always brought the many different forces together; some hostile to the existence of the other but when it came time to gather...all local animosities faded.
Shit, you would see someone you knew, but was not active normally, wearing a bandanna and out for vengeance against the powers that be.
So it usually happened like this: an individual or group would call a meeting site; get the crowd roused and then head out to protest; since the mob is a great cover to strike at targets along the way it also turned into a storm of destruction; wreaking havoc, for every car and window shop that dared to represent the ruling class. That was the night of January 15Th, 1991, aka Martin Luther Kings birthday.
Well, I joined a group that had hid a stash of long wooden sticks and metal poles behind a building at Market and Van Ness. We waited until we were a block from Union Square, marching down O'Farrell towards Market St., an area lined with expensive shops and stores. When we got near Macy's it was on: 'Oops, sorry about that Macy's', 'darn I hate to see that done to Miss Tiffany's'...and 'oh no, not the Mercedes.'

Oh, Darn!

But as often happens in every society, there is going to be those whom are not as supportive of our direct actions, "stop that" they said adding, "let's stick to non-violence". This distraction was just that--a distraction-- though as if on cue, a more direct counter to our actions came from just behind me: "OK buddy", said the large white male presence among us..."you are going down."
Then he began to try and arrest me by grabbing at my sweater. His grip was as effective as the lefty "peaceniks"; I pulled away, turning the corner and headed towards Union Square via Stockton St. I made that run in the shortest time being care full not to look back to see if he had followed. "I just have to get to Leavenworth and Geary", I thought realizing that my home was just five blocks away. I crossed over, to the park side of the Square knowing that it would give me some cover in case I was followed. And as I said this a car pulled up besides me; it stopped and so did my heart(but I kept walking); as I was about to run the four men opened the four doors to their sedan, closed them and began to run towards the direction I had just left. "Damn, I have got to move" I thought as I crossed Powell, heading west on Leavenworth, and headed to my home in the "Tenderloin."
The Tenderloin neighborhood was San Francisco at it's dirty, smelly, best; a unique enclave home to everything and everyone you did not think could exist...but does. A place I still think fondly of, even to this day. (Way better people than the phony/plastic out of towners who come to DC)

Lucky for me it is close to Union Square; which made it a popular starting point on my many walks around SF. But, damn-- I have NEVER walked from it so fast nor felt its distance had been so FAR, then that night. I was so relieved to see the crusty old building that sat on the corner; I slid past the collection of working girls that always gravitated to those four corners. Jumped down the flight of stairs, and sat alone in that small basement apartment; I had a hard time forgetting the chain of events which had brought me to this spot. Thinking: 'What had just happened' and 'what about everybody else'; a concern for my 4 "dead heads" roomates whom I knew were still out there.
I exhaled, closed my eyes and collapsed into a deep, dark sleep...

Off with HIS head...

IMPEACH JOHN CONYERS!!!

IF HE WONT DO HIS CONSTITUTIONALLY MANDATED DUTY AS chairman OF THE JUDICIARY COMMITTEE(IMPEACH BUSH AND CHENEY)

THEN HE MUST GO!


IMPEACH CONYERS...AND HIS PSYCHO WIFE TOO

It has been a tough 12 days

( Friday the 25Th) It really has been tough; I have had pot holes, bathtub slips, followed by holes in my good shoes, walking on this greasy road also called "my life." Had to clear away the blue "meanies" playin hide and seek in his mind too. No sweat...
Because it all makes perfect sense with hindsight. And through it all, I have begun to slowly find harmony with my life; bringing everything full circle: my "vision" of 1992.

1992, was a very important year for me; vindication and prescience came to and through me. Finally I began to really trust my inner "voice", which allowed my eyes to "see."
I could march alone if needed, now having self belief as a constant "truth", as my companion.

It has taken me nearly 2 weeks(16 years ?) to try and find the courage to bring this tale to light. To bring this truly out of me, so all can judge for themselves. Though if you were sitting here with me, eventually during our conversations I would tell you it anyway. It was a gift that day, one I cannot and did not, dare keep to myself.

I live with it but as you will find out it is a reality which, even today, is tough to accept. Though considering today's "climate" it may not be shocking because the times speak to-but does not answer- this awakening I was given that early June morning on the Streets of San Francisco: I saw the future and I had to live with this dark reality ever since: Imagine if you saw a monster under the bed and NOBODY believed you...

The Twilight Zone or Sci-fi channel, has nothing on me!

But you can decide for yourself.

Frankly, I thank my god for making it this far, especially since, I was FINALLY BLESSED, to meet you.

So from 1992, through me, to you.

ps: baby, if they plan on having a "dog and pony" show they really need to get a cuter and livelier cast.

One more time

It seems like my entire life has been spent with other people in mind; as if I was just a co star in MY own life.

My struggle has always been to be seen and heard; those who "see" me have always feared my presence and have continually tried to marginalize my own "self"; it worsens when I "connect" with another person: the world hates me in love and happy. I wish I understood it , but it is what it is...

Maybe since my birth was premature (2 lbs. 7 ounces), I had to instinctively develop a fighters will due from my desperate right to life. Then later, it sharpened in my search and subsequential discovery of my unique individuality. Which leads to today's refined passsion stoked by a visionary fire; echoed alone full of inspiration and reason, pleading many for years in an age of "The Unreasonables." Fortunately for me, this fighters spirit has aways been tempered by a soft and open heart.

Through it all, my song remains the same to those around me: Do unto to others as I would have them do unto me; a golden oldie, that rarely returns from their lips; prefering to take, ONLY ; not realizing that the law of the universe is to 'give in order to take'. This one sided relationship will ultimately, tragically-- spell their doom!

This is true for our nation as well!

And over the years my patience has waned, as I hoped for them to follow; still I continue to harmoniously hum with them in mind, hoping to hear their tonal change, to the right key.

As I remarked yesterday I do feel a need for the struggle. But there are times, like today, when I am also reminded of my need for harmony only found in the simple sanctuaries of my life: my god, my guy, my nieces, and my freedom of expression. (Zues the dog is joining this list.) Only in these instances can I find a rejuvenation of my faith in the future, and my voice to sing.



next: 1992, my odyssey, and the "project" to re-animate a people...

Love in the afternoon

What a long afternoon, but it was worth it!
I have been going to marches and demos et. al for over 20 years now and today's "revolution" march and rally sponsored by the freedom community and the Paul Campaign was one I will not forget...

The march got off well; I caught it at its beginning, as it passed along Constitution avenue and 9th street. Fell in at the back and pushed my bike towards its end point, at the west lawn on the Capitol grounds. Spoke to many unnamed faces in the crowd, engaging in dialogue with as many as possible; I wish I had more than 4 constitutions to give out along the route, but I had left scores of copies at home, believing the organizers as they had said were to have that angle covered. I will not make that mistake again...

Overall, I was surprised at the March's energy and composition; for a first time attempt it got off to a great start.

Then, came the marathon of speakers--shit loads: who did not speak to this robust crowd, which began to wilt in the 90 degree heat, though hardly a typical DC July scorcher . Unfortunately, I saw more people carried away by the heat, than at any other event on that green lawn. 2 hours max should have been allotted to the speakers with an extra 15 allotted to the "star", candidate Paul.
But chalk that up to first time "jitters"; in time they will not make this mistake...
Suggestion: move it to the north Capitol side: 'standing room' fit for the crowd, which could relieve itself along the fountains and the tightly manicured grove of trees. Also, The Union Station, a frequent destination for many seeking aide this afternoon, is closer by 1/2.

Well after Kokesh departs to cheers, he is followed by a good natured and wise man who quickly pays homage to Candidate Paul whom he knows and respect. he also respects the crowd realizing they are tired in waiting and they wanted to FINALLY see the good doctor. He cuts it short allowing for the arrival of Representative Ron Paul.
At 3:45 or so, he speaks as if he was presiding over a small gathering of friends, and not a crowd which still numbered over 5,000.

As a DC political "brat" with over 30 years of watching this shit, I was impressed with his candid, good natured and humbled self effacing delivery; so different from the traditional politician or pundit whom usually scream and overwhelm the audience with the "importance" of their message. With Paul, it was as if he was giving us his doctoral diagnosis; many sound, somber, sobering recommendations.

Is he too good for ALL of this?
Is he tough enough?
god love 'em

Of all the multitude of mouths, today... the one whom elicited the most passion from me was from Mr. Adam Kokesh (who preceded the good doctor). He has come a lifetime since I first heard him speak last year in Lafayette Park on 9-11; he is getting that "vision thing", a term my friend Steve Michael(R.I.P) used to describe a person who had escaped the bounds of mere activism. Furthermore, like Steve, Adam also has the "will to power" which can be problematic because his will is so formidable but so is his heart.
Anyway...

He spoke about the spirit of this "time"; describing a revolutionary Republic which can only be healed after "We the people" awaken and then connect with each other. I felt myself in his words; I hope others did too.
Because no one can dare sleep at this hour of need.

Words like "renaissance", "new life", and "soul", rolled off his lips evoking the metaphysical challenge that too must be embodied in the politics of today. Our actions must be an extension of the new world we have to bring about; we will re-animate the spirit of the people as we reawaken the body by giving it back its "soul": I loved it!!!

Words like "passion" and "passionate", ones that I use and I believe best describe any successful act if it is to be done with utmost effect. And of course he used "love", the most powerful of all; this we must practice habitually because it will provide us the only "light", during the days of darkness and fear.
He spoke of "acting in love", as a force of good in resistance; as a "duty" as citizens. So bloody true baby!
He reminded the audience to not fear the government because in the "American" tradition the state should be "in fear of the people." (When he speaks like that, I do not feel alone anymore; like the day I saw the boy with that "great hat.")

He understands his mission: yeah team!
And no mountain of lies or collection of bullets can keep him down; I love his spirit.

Oh the life and the learning.

After Kokesh exits to applause, the stage is next occupied by Constitution party Presidential nominee Chuck Baldwin whom graciously spends just a fraction of his allotted time on his campaign preferring to use his self shorted time on Paul and his candidacy. I have MUCH respect for this man!
A Presidential politician giving up his time after waiting all day to a rival, even one who is a good friend is admirable; this speaks volumes about this man's character.

Lastly, Paul ends his speech reminding everyone that "a revolution has always been waged by a minority", thanked everyone... and then left the stage in an orchestrated "rush" fit for a rock star. Well being the old political veteran, I have to get my way through and get my "mark", so to speak. Here comes the good doctor, now.
I slide over 5 feet or so from my bike and watch as his entourage heads my way. "Move to the side" ordered the sentry who I dismiss realizing he would not dare infringe upon my "personal liberty" with the good doctor on his way. "Great here he comes," I move through the first level of cops and into his way as he climbs towards me; I offer my hand," Dr. Paul", he stops briefly looking up to see who I am and tiredly shakes.
"Got it", I thought as I climb on board the Schwinn and began racing up Capitol Hill; as I was about to leave the grounds, I passed through one of the barricades, heard a clicking sound and then ..."POP".

Fuck, flat tire!

Great.

Got off the old girl and pushed it AGAIN, 1 hour east to Minnesota ave. and E st. SE.

"There has got to be a silver lining to this" I thought over and over as I made my way to and then over the Sousa bridge, retracing the same steps of a similar man and bike 9 10 shit 11 years ago...
Some things change and always in the long run for the better; but my personal "struggle" here in Capitol City, seems to always stay the same!
And you know, deep down... I love every minute of it!

I need a pair of skates

Yeah I came to this and other conclusions after I crossed town today to give my pal some cash(was not home) and along the way got the "911" on my bike. First at Capitol Hill Bikes across from the Marine Barracks, and then at Rollin Cycles on 14th st. nw. So I traveled from Minnesota ave. to 14th st. (5 1/2 miles), and got the same answer: 175-225 dollars to "fix" my bike.

It only cost me $350 4 1/2 years ago, damn what the fuck is that!

I can buy the parts like the 29.95 Shimano peddle and other gear, (fix it myself) that the guy at the Rollin shop exposed as he began to assemble parts, probably thinking I was setting him up to fix it.

"What a bloody hustle all this really is", I thought as the price kept increasing as he talked,
with his last sentence as I left the shop: "try not to ride it," he said as I made my way north on 14th...

Got to 16th Street, and continued heading north, up Meridian hill and Malcolm X park; I eye the fountain pools on this warm day, especially the dormant big tub near the light across from the corner of Crescent pl. and 16th.
"When I leave", I thought as I pushed the wounded wheelie up the hill.
Nobody home.
See not having a cell phone makes all unplanned trips problematic but 'in times of loss look for an opportunity to learn', is my motto.

Well I drag myself and my bike all the way to Capitol hill stopping first at the corner of Constitution ave. and Delaware Ave. just a yell from the Capitol of the United States. Short rest, to get that damn stone out of my shoe; I do not stay long, I need to put my tired "dogs" in some water: the fountain in front of the Library of Congress, felt jut right.
I was in no mood to fight with cops over my act but I was willing to test their hubris because if I do not do it, than...who will; besides my bloody feet hurt so let's drop them in and if they come: oh well.
"Great," that rejuvenated me; I felt the old Washington spirit alive and well; playing in fountains was a joy most took advantage of in old DC. That plus the comfort of providing a group of international travelers some hometown information about U st. made me realize how important natives are to any town.

Even one that promotes itself as: "important" and"powerful!"

Yuck

I finished walking the bike back towards 8th street, and I realized that I did not want to pay $200 or so on a bike that is second in line for my bike dollars; especially considering their scarcity. Moreover, if the economy survives in this short term chaos, I will not be desiring a long distance employment. My time and investments must be focused as close to "home" as possible. Tighten the circulation of capital during times of economic turbulence, with an influence in spending on long term physical i.e. caloric maintenance investments: food, clean water, and oils. So in these times I would rather have beans than a bike.

And considering my choices I will have each, especially if it is the 3 speed Schwinn that waits to be used again.

"Oh shit" I thought as the dark clouds rumbled, signaling my last chance to break his dictate: I hop on my bike and ride the last 2 1/2 miles home.

Got home, ate and thought of...

What else besides my dog deserves any of my money or attention.
ciao...

Good bye cold warrior

Jesse Helms, one of American politics iconic figures of the second half of the 2oth century died this morning in Raleigh North Carolina.
A "Cold War" champion of "conservative" causes, Helms was a nortorious foil for the left wing establishment throughout his career...

While canvassing for Sane/Freeze in 1990, I happened to knock on the door of his then press secretary; a 30 ish woman whom decided to engage me in dialogue about my group and why she would not be in support of our cause: I am Senator Helms' secretary she says with the biggest grin followed up with ' he is not as they present him...he is a big 'pussycat'." "Huh" I said, "not to those on my side he is not." She wished me well and closed the door to her colonial Silver Spring home as I ventured out into the dark, windy night.

That night and the encounter said volumes, of how the individual can become captive to the impressions we create for ourselves and how they can be re-made by both friends and enemies.

Perception is truly reality.

Anyway, sleep in peace old man; may the god you served give you everything you deserve!

Girl: you looking tired!

When in the course of of human Events, it becomes necessary for one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the Powers of the Earth, the separate and equal Station to which the laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent Respect to the Opinions of Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the Separation.

Great opening paragraph to the historic Declaration of Independence penned on July 4th 1776, by Thomas Jefferson. I have stood on many street corners and squares reading aloud those words, even in front of the White House itself.
But the question needs to be asked: have we truly separated from the British Empire, are 'We the People' truly "free?"
In the sense of having the "freedom" to eat and fuck anything we choose, or to pull a lever from a selected choice of contestants, we are freer than most on this planet; but to have the power of self- determination, to determine you and your communities direction, I believe the answer is: "no."

The British may have lost the battle but in hindsight they are winning the war. Cecil Rhodes had a dream to reunite all the English speaking world in a global confederation; his dream as we view the worlds landscape is becoming a reality. There was a time when the United States was the envy of the world; its revolutionary war of independence gave inspiration to the billions of enslaved people to be free too. Not just by becoming citizens but by the similar use of national liberation; using the armed struggle to free themselves thus allowing for the creation of a democratic Republic where all are "created" equal...

We do not inspire this spirit any longer; we have become everything we rebelled against!

Red coats anyone?

Oh, the irony!
(But if your "friends" are the British and Israel than you do not need enemies!)

Sorry to bring you down on this day of national celebration, but it is important to take stock of where we are going by first realizing from whence we have come. If 'We the People' are again in tyranny, this time of our OWN making, then we must recognize that a renaissance of our national identity must be evoked in order to rejuvenate ourselves as a people and as a nation. A return to the genesis of our story; a return to the principles and actions which made this great experiment, to determine whether man can rule himself is possible.
I know it is, I and millions of us live it everyday; 232 years of history speaks to this truth.

I and others have engaged in the various forms of organized protest, hoping to redirect the course of contemporary events. The foundation for change has been set in motion; the outcome of these acts can be seen all around us. A new nation is being born inside the United States: fulfilling the dreams of the founders.

To continue this awakening, I have decided on this day of American Independence, that I am declaring my Independence; I am declaring my nations Independence and encouraging others who value the fruits of liberty and justice to follow.
In the course of this struggle we will continue re igniting the institutions of what is left of the great United States of America, birthing new life in what is now a dying nation. Providing the
spirit necessary to move a dispirited people to once again act in support of its posterity. And if ultimately it means full Separation than the project for creating this "Phoenix" among all this darkness is alive and well too.

232 years old today, god love ya old girl... but you have to exercise your tired ass or get the hell out of the way!!

Naked bodies, bare souls, and cold cash

Tonight after 13 years I finally put it to rest!
On and off, on and off and on and off it went
but no more shall I walk that line; no more shall I wear that scent!

Oh, what a fucking and fucked up affair!

A center of dissent; dissenters from the norm; here I hid away from the blue meanies and those damnable grey swarms!

Good bye old friend, it is time I fly, as high as I can
to roofs of the sky, or the floor beneath my door

Godspeed, old girl, new life awaits.
Always for you and for me.
Peace and love baby, thank god... relief!

Au revoir, Ciao, good riddance, later: to all of that loving "Crew"
A crazy train has finally settled, got stuck in new cum in the end!